Thursday, November 18, 2010

a jog to perk myself up,

and probably give myself more energy.

Woke up at 5plus this morning and went for a morning run with my dad.
5 rounds around the neighbourhood, didn't time myself though.
Shall run again tomorrow.
Goal: 10 rounds, in 25min
(Shall achieve this before CIBTC which = run every morning)

As I ran, the wind surged past, mind went really blank.
Love it when I ran, don't have to think about anything for that 15min.
Just concentrate on my steps, on my breathing.
Very comfortable.

Although the road ahead may be very hard, but I guess I found my motivation to carry on.
It may not really last, I may fall again anytime, but at least, right now, I found the drive.

^Watching HP7 with jx and pris in ~2.5 hours! Yay ^^ 
Mahjong session after that :D

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

when you are lost,

without any confidence and all.

Had this feeling for quite a few times already.
Always manage to get over it very quickly.
Maybe go to sleep and the next day, everything's gone, no tightness in the chest, nothing.
Sometimes, a kbox session, let everything out and all's fine.
But somehow this time felt quite different.

It was so heavy, weighing me down.
Can't do anything about it.
In bed, thinking, thinking and thinking.
It was painful, yet no tears flowed.
Don't know what I should be feeling actually.

Lost all confidence, lost all directions.
I started to question myself.
Why, why do so much? For what, really.
If I don't even find joy, what's the point.
Maybe out of duty, yes, probably.
It's the commitment, I thought.

It is a very tough struggle.
But no matter what, its my own decision.
Nobody forced me into this, I did it to myself.

In times like this, I'm glad that y'all are around.
Sometimes, you don't need people to say you can do it, no matter what, you can do it.
You need people to tell you, no, you can't do it this way, you'll fail, but I know you'll try and you'll do better.

Maybe all along, all that I needed was affirmation, from alot of people, from you guys.