Monday, June 28, 2010

Maybe it isn't

that bad afterall. 

Today, first day of school.
YAY 2pm release! (YES! No more 4pm!)
hahaha
lessons were okay, LA was quite funny LOL

After school went lunch w Suza, xian and ty :D
long time since we last lunched together yup.
Had pepper lunch :D
yumyum, salmon pepper rice ftw!

It's going to be 12mn and im still blogging ._.


Anw, im looking forward to tomorrow like 10^10000000000000000000000000000! 
(mian also, im sure!)
but some aint.
hope that tomorrow will be great, cos the last didnt end quite well.
jiayou people!

and yay friday eclipse outing w squadmates!
at cine! :D
ohya, and i want go shopping this weekend!!!!!!
(ty, get the hint LOL)

okay, time to go off,
dont even know why i bothered to blog but still.
(:

Welcome back to school people! (LOL, banner in school xD)


p.s. im a happier person now.
3 more days.
xoxo,
wenting.

Friday, June 25, 2010

the End,

but not as expected.

thebangbangsquad
rvnps107, NCOs'10.
020207 - 250610
'cos you know we rock.
we hope we've left a legacy behind,
the first batch of NCOs to use the NP room in the Boonlay campus.

4 years in NP, in a blink of an eye.
once in our lives, four years of our time.
have you ever wondered why must we serve? 
cos we love our unit and want it to be first.

now that we've stepped down,
we're just one step away from losing the final connection with rvnp,
the official ROD.

before today, i didn't really feel much, although fully aware that today's the final act with my s1s.
don't know why, maybe the feeling just didnt dawn upon me.
i wonder how many of them understood what all of us said to them throughout the 4plus months together.
maybe they were too fresh to understand, maybe it all sounded cliche and superficial.
but all we've said, im sure impacted a few.
experience we've shared, i hope can become a guide to them, preventing them from committing the same mistakes.
the time we've spent with them, although not long, i hope is long enough to leave them a good impression of rvnp, long enough to instill some pride of being an rvnp cadet in them.
things are always easier said than done, promises they've made, not all are done.
but at least, i see potentials, i see hope in them.
all im hoping is that their passion dont die as their journey with rvnp continues.
it may not be easy, or rather, it is going to be difficult, but never give up.
it seems a long way to them right now, but the next thing you know, you're the ones stepping down and passing on the unit to the next batch of leaders already.
im sure one fine day, they will understand all that was said today.
(provided that they do remember what was said)
i believe they have what it takes to be an elite squad, really.
with the correct mindset and attitude that they have started with,
just need to continue, make it last.
things will definitely change for the better if that continues.
no matter how harsh we may seem, we've never ever given up on them,
no ics will ever give up on their squads.
so s1s, time to buck up really,
time spent with yall was not enough, yet filled with memories.
do treasure your following cadet years and shine as a great nco squad in the future.
hoping that when we come back as old seniors and when y'all take your squads,
we'll be really proud of yall.
we believe y'all can do it,
if you think you can, you can!
rvnps110, all the way (:

time with them was short,
our expectations was definitely harsh for a s1 squad.
yes, our unit is no longer the same, we need a change.
they'll understand it one fine day, as they grow to love rvnp.

how true,
its impossible to understand all the agony, all the misery beneath the smiles.
we're posers, quoting wying.
beneath the fake front that we all put on, we all were stressed out.
feelings that cadets never understood until they experience it for themselves.
i've never once thought i would break down infront of them.
last thing i thought i would ever do.
but i did.
it may be a bad thing, or a good thing.
all i can say is that, i didnt expect everything to end this way, nobody did.

today alot of ex-ncos came back,
Ma'am Xinyue, Staff Sijia, and many ex-ncos.
they saw our s1s.
Never expected myself to be so affected, tried hard to control.
Tears just flowed.

thinking back, yes, my squadmates, who supported me all the way throughout my 4years.
people i've considered part of my life, just like rvnp, our unit.
love for my squad brought me this far, the thought of us stepping down right now breaks my heart.
always wondered how life would be after ROD, after step down.
will we still be as close as before, definitely not.
will we become strangers even, i dont want to know.
bonds we've forged, the thought of losing them, i dont want to think further.


rvnp, a place where i learnt alot, a place which helped me grow, watched me grow.
somewhere where i met a group of important people.
a cca i'll never forget.

alot of things on my mind right now,
but cant seem to find the exact words to put them in.
all i can say is,
thanks for all the memories squadmates, ex-ics, s1s. (:
 a simple thankyou, but you know behind it, theres much more than that. 

i love rvnp,
i love bangbangsquad,
i love my s1s,
a love i'll never forget.


may future generations of rvnp help bring the unit to greater heights,
for thats the wish of many.

RVNP SOLID SAH! 
you can take a cadet out of rvnp, but you cannot take rvnp out of a cadet.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Just when you feel like

you're the only one who's feeling upset about life,
think again.

I really don't know what's wrong with my life,
everything's real screwed up, everything.
maybe its my fault, i really don't know.
things had never been easy, but it was still manageable.
when did everything get out of hand? i really have no idea.

maybe im in the wrong, probably.
maybe cos i don't know how to be a good friend,
how to treat those around me like i should.
3.5 years and now life smacks me in the face,
telling me that i don't know how to be a good friend,
friends are leaving one by one.
tell me, what should i do,
or rather, what can i do.

had a talk with my cousin,
now i know, im not the only one with friendship problems,
im probably one out of alot.
maybe im not going through the worst afterall.

things that came to my mind was,
why vent your anger on me,
i have no idea why you're angry, so whats the point of venting everything on me?
and also, if you think you're the only one going through real tough times, think again.
sparing a thought for others, thinking before you speak,
things that you should be doing for a friend, are you doing it?
it's never okay to hurt someone and feeling guilty and full of regret after that if you keep doing it over and over again.
trust, friendship, bond, a word to describe, delicate.
hard to build up, easy to break.

i've never once wanted to hurt anyone,
but now i think back, i've probably hurt alot of people.
maybe i really don't know how to be a good friend.

life is real screwed up,
people care, but they don't understand.
need someone to understand.
cos crying alone at night doesn't help, at all.

Sunday, June 06, 2010

i don't want to say

goodbye.

im really confused now.
heartache, yes.
don't know how to react, yes.
need a listening ear, yes desperately.

i have no idea why things became so serious.
why are we breaking up.
i don't want this, i don't believe anyone wanted that.

is there really no way out?

if you're angry cos of the last few days,
i don't know what to say cos i was really trying.
i was trying to make things better, for us.

friends forever, is it just a phase, just two words?
i thought, they meant us.

sometimes i really wanna say the F word,
but i know,
i won't.

our friendship, really that delicate?